Human Interaction – Thoughts on Event Planning or what it means to be truly Cross Functional.

I recently completed The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker and it served as a reason to revisit past experiences I’ve had related to the creation/facilitation of successful events. For additional context, there are a few other books that serve as points of reference for this musing.

• Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara
• The Cold Start Problem by Andrew Chen
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• Influence by Robert Cialdini
• Actionable Gamification by Yu-kai Chou
• Impossible to Ignore by Carmen Simon
• Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny et al.

A Quick Word About Event Logistics

Logistics are the easiest part of an event that only seem the hardest because you have to depend on other people and anything can go wrong.

Ultimately, if you have a checklist (on the level as expressed in Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande) then you cannot possibly fail. The operational, functional, logistical parts of an event are (in essence) always the same.

The important thing to remember is that a location, beverages and appetizers do not make the event, not the sponsors or even speakers, the thing that makes any event is the “net emotional experience” of the greatest number of those in attendance. In life, I’m sure many of us can recollect being at a dull (but very expensive) wedding, or having a blast somewhere ordinary because of those you were with.

My Time at The Chamber of Commerce in Greenwich, CT

The Chamber hosted “Breakfast Mixers”, “Lunch and Learns”, “After Hours Cocktail Mixers” ongoing Board of Directors and Committee Meetings. When I joined the Chamber (as what I recollect to have been my second “big job” after college), membership was in freefall.

Hired as the Membership Director, my role was essentially to “stop the bleed”. As I did customer research, I was shocked to discover the level of “one way relationship” that members had with the organization.

For most businesses it was impossible to prove or provide any direct value. The best course of action was to provide emotional value (that might lead to business value) through the various events the Chamber hosted. Thus, I made a point of prioritizing reach outs to those who were late for renewal (offering them free attendance at an upcoming event), or those that were coming up on membership renewal.

The reach out was not only a personal invitation to attend, but my ask to them of what value the Chamber provided OR could provide. My boss at the time hated my asking the question for fear that it would give the member a reason to dredge up bad feelings, or realize no value was provided.

I didn’t know it then, but the approach I was using was similar to that which is discussed in Crucial Conversations. By leaning in to a situation that could’ve been contentious, and giving voice to things that may have appeared “better left unsaid”, I built a stronger bond with members that had (for intents and purposes) already attritted as well as those that were on the verge of it.

Having done much networking prior to this role (it’s how I landed the role), I was always disgusted by transactional Sales People who would make insincere promises until they got what they wanted. So, having set the stage for a positive, or at least honest interaction, I would follow up the day before the event, and the day of — with everyone who RSVPed of their own accord and anyone I spoke to who said YES they’d be there as well as any MAYBE who said to check back.

The reminder was ostensibly a reminder, but more than that it was a courtesy call where I would use the power of Social Proof (discussed by Cialdini and Yu-kai Chou) to talk about who else was coming and find out if there was anyone the person I was calling would like to meet.

The work didn’t end there.

At the event, I served more, as Priya Parker might say, a facilitator. Not just a facilitator, but as a host expressed by Will Guidara.. attempting to predict guest wants/needs and surprise them by exceeding their expectation before they articulated it. What did this look like in practice? I made a point of greeting every guest, memorizing their names, and for those I invited directly that were on the fence about renewal… I paid special attention to make sure I introduced them to those they expressed interest in meeting OR pre-emptively introduce them to people they wouldn’t have known to ask for.

People are terrible at extricating themselves from awful conversations, so in addition to playing the role of matchmaker, I also made a point to keep an eye on the state of the room to make sure there was sufficient movement.

If anyone seemed “trapped” in a conversation, I happily played the role of the bad guy by introducing a 3rd person to the conversation, or apologizing for separating the people in order to introduce them to others. As a follow up thought to the point of sufficient movement, the analogy of air circulating around a room would be apropos. Little movement would be a dank, stagnant, and stale gathering. People crossing the room, making their rounds like wind facilitated a freshness that is typically missing. My buzzing around the room also set the stage for others to do the same and made the experience more kinetic, encouraged the shyer members to follow suit.

THE YPG

Later when becoming the key founder for the Young Professional Group, all the above practices became a cornerstone for the YPG in practice. As for why I say “key founder”, the YPG was meant to be an offshoot of the Chamber, but there was a desire from my boss and Executive Committee to control the Young Professionals.

As per Dale Carnegie’s practice of giving people a positive expectation to live up to, I helped facilitate and foster the vision of a Young Professionals Group with Board Members to the point where it was something they WANTED. A feather in the cap of the Chamber. And yet, myself and the other Founding Members had the realization if we were to launch as initially intended — no one would’ve wanted the responsibility, for the lack of autonomy would’ve been stifiling.

Understanding the interests at hand, I asked the other YPG Co-Founders if they’d be willing to take a gamble and say we wanted autonomy or didn’t want to volunteer. There was a real risk the YPG never would’ve happened, but when I went back to boss and board with request for autonomy (or nothing), the desire for it to succeed was too great, and the oversight was of secondary importance. Looking back, the techniques I used to build that desire would later be better articulated in Carmen Simon’s work on making things memorable.

Ultimately, we (the YPG) walked away with autonomy and $1 million dollars of umbrella insurance from the Chamber which made it possible to host any variety of event including 1000+ person expos.

Following the interest-based matchmaking approach from the events, myself and the other YPG Board Members wanted to see how far we could take things. From Chamber events, I knew an amazing event planner who was also exceptionally savvy to opportunity.

We connected, and came up with a scenario that allowed the event planner to make use of the umbrella insurance to the fullest, putting on a Health & Wellness Expo in Stamford that featured over 70 exhibitors and approximately 1000 attendees. I emceed the event which was fun and felt like a reward for bringing it all together at the time, but in the context of writing this — it made sense given I’d served that function on a smaller level.

BNI

I later worked for two different companies where I was a member of BNI (Business Networking International). It’s essentially a lead generation/mastermind group. I took the lessons I learned at the Chamber and worked to facilitate introductions amongst members.

Cocoa Bar and Actors Reading Writers

While doing the “starving artist” thing pursuing the dream after the Chamber, I worked at Cocoa Bar as a Manager. Cocoa Bar was a Wine & Chocolate Bar on the Lower East Side. Sales were “okay” but events seemed like a positive way to improve sales.

I approached a Master’s Degree Student with the concept of hosting a Writer’s Reading Event, like a Poetry Slam or what you’d expect in a Wine & Chocolate Shop. The student said there were too many Writer’s Reading Events and also informed me that many of the events she’d helped host in the past were poorly attended because many writers are introverts.

Given “writing” was the reason I was doing the “starving artist” thing in the first place, I totally saw where she was coming from. However, because my interest was primarily screenwriting, and I had just co-written and produced a feature length indie film, serving also as assistant director… I re-presented the idea as “Actors Reading Writers”. Actors, I knew, would not be shy. They’d put on a better performance than the writers would’ve alone… and in the event that no one showed up for the reading? At least there’d be double the number of sad artists ready to purchase wine.

QUICK ASIDE: Producing the indie film was essentially a series of “Events”, culminating in the shoot taking place over 10-days requiring coordination of actors, crew, transportation, and catering.

Anyways, the Master’s Student coordinated with Writers and I helped facilitate introduction to actors given there was a theater below Cocoa Bar.

Long story short: the event was a hit.

It took approximately 5 iterations before attendance was too big for our Wine Bar, with over 60 people showing up — standing room only, and just barely at that. The Student took the event to a larger venue. I’m hesitant to say the event was “stolen” because we simply couldn’t accommodate it, but it felt bittersweet to have spawned a success that outgrew what was imagined.

Looking back, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but at the Chamber, the YPG, the Wine Bar, etc… it was the idea of a “two-sided” network as expressed by Andrew Chen that I was giving life to.

To summarize it all, why I think this is “what it truly means to be cross-functional”? It’s because when you’re dealing with co-workers at the same company, there is the implicit need to work together — even if people don’t want to.

When it comes to events there is no such need.

There is no obligation.

The best you can do is find the opposing and complementary sides of a given “network”, appeal to their human-motivations, and find ways to create experiences that are memorable and life affirming. The kind of experiences that beget engagement born of want as opposed to obligation.